The Matejovsky Chronicle

[When Hicks went up...]

At the dinner table, Mrs M asks him to pass the salt. His distribution is excellent.

[mzungu_royal]

At the dinner table, Mrs M asks him to pass the salt. His distribution is excellent.

But he spills the wine all over the lovely new blue and white hooped table cloth that he got in a one off rogue sale from the cheeky Irishman Hunty!

[NWL Royal]

Matejovsky decides to masturbate over Leroy's mind blowing video. His penis flops when Leroy comes in view on the camera.

[SWLR]

Kitson passes advice on how to deal with Coppers. The Czech maestro can see their is no defence, calls 'Jacks' and Jamie Cureton is banned from driving for 18 months.

The boy is settling in well.

[Readingfanman]

Matejovsky is asleep. Resting for a long hard day.

[Dirk Gently]

12 minutes later, after all the sleep he needs, he wakes feeling rested and refreshed.

"Golly" he says to Mrs M. "It's a dashed good thing i had the brainwave of placing a dictionary under my pillow before I turned in. The language has passed into my brain by osmosis, and so I now speak the Mother Tongue faultlessly. No longer will communication with my teammates be a potential hindrance to my complete integration into the team. I wonder if Leroy has thought of doing the same!"

[Millsy]

Matejovsky, with his new found skills, is now restless contemplating whether or not to quit football to become a lecturer in English language, or to become a theoretical physicist after having somehow condensed 89 minutes of time into a mere 12 minutes.

Mrs Matejovsky is unimpressed as all she hears is "Me Matejovsky, you also Matejovksy, me sleep"

[ShrewsandRoyals]

Having had little sleep, Matejovsky decides on ditching the advice of Hunty and following Harps recommendation of a good English footballer's breakfast.

He nips in his car, orders a "Full English" from his local supermaket cafe, eats the lot, and hopes to be revived.

Matejovsky begins to feel that he has been fooled again by another jolly RFC prankster. He fears he won't be able to train today as no one could possibly play football having eaten all that.

[Blue Blooded]

Marek needs a little time to collect his thoughts. He is feeling restless, alienated, if not a little bit paranoid. The welcome in England was not quite what he had expected. His hearty 'Irish' welcome from the friendly Irish contingent he reasoned was now down to an assumption that there was some green in his roots somewhere.

Two events had confirmed that this (Irish) fraternity would not provide protection from the listless Leroy: A trip to Toni & Guy's and the fact that he was still awaiting a call from the Don Jack Charlton.

Taking a trip through Whitley evoked some distant memories of the conversations which he had as he grew with his parents and Grandparents - 'They sure would have felt at home here' he said to himself (In Czech)

[bobby m's syrup]

Marek is startled by a phone call from his agent who relays the news that Sunderland have bid £12 million and Stephen Hunt for his services.

[Uke]

He cuts down trees, He eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesday he went shopping and had buttered scones for tea

[The whole year inn]

Marek wonders why running around really fast for ten minutes and making a couple of good passes makes him a world beater.

Marek asks for a pay rise based on fans out of proportion reaction before they all assume his previous club fans' opinion of him over the last 18 months.

[brendywendy]

Marek wonders why running around really fast for ten minutes and making a couple of good passes makes him a world beater.

Marek asks for a pay rise based on fans out of proportion reaction before they all assume his previous club fans' opinion of him over the last 18 months.

wasnt he the captain of his last club?
didnt his fans love him?

[Blue Blooded]

Marek wonders why running around really fast for ten minutes and making a couple of good passes makes him a world beater.

Marek asks for a pay rise based on fans out of proportion reaction before they all assume his previous club fans' opinion of him over the last 18 months.

wasnt he the captain of his last club?
didnt his fans love him?

Some wise man once said: 'What's love but a second hand emotion'

[SWLR]

Marek wonders why running around really fast for ten minutes and making a couple of good passes makes him a world beater.

Marek asks for a pay rise based on fans out of proportion reaction before they all assume his previous club fans' opinion of him over the last 18 months.

wasnt he the captain of his last club?
didnt his fans love him?

Some wise man once said: 'What's love but a second hand emotion'

Sorry but.. what has love got to do with it?

[Blue Blooded]

Sorry but.. what has love got to do with it?[/

'....We don't need another hero'

[Only one Trevor Morley]

Marek pours himself a bottle of budvar and contemplates his surroundings. pausing only to nibble on his waitrose luxury toasted peanuts, he wonders what would have happened if he hadnt decided to enrol in Uncle Vaclavs footballing summer school in the woodlands of Bohemia all those years ago. How wise old Uncle Vaclav had been to insist that his evenings should be spent threading that needle....

He toasts the picture of Tomáš Skuhravý over the mantelpiece and decides to put Nessun Dorma on the Ipod...... smiling as he recalls his childhood memories of italia 90 he looks again to the picture of Karel Poborsky in the kitchen. he decides against playing three lions.....

[Nezhen]

FFS, the guy eats Polish Sausage (Kielbasa) ok !!

[Focher]

Marek pops down the Austin Road shops to buy his weekly copy of Del Prado's 'Flying Scotsman' magazine for £4.99. He hoping he can complete the model before his contract expires in 2011.

[Millsy]

Matejovsky is a bit p*ssed off as he is refused entrance to a night club in Bristol: someone spellt his name incorrectly on the guest list. He goes off on one in Czech but just sounds silly. Lita solves the problem by headbutting the bouncer and knocking him out cold. Both he and Kitson run in and Matejovsky runs in behind them.

Coppell is impressed by his performance behind the front two.